Intentional Parenting (Original) - Introduction

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Intentional Parenting (Original) - Introduction

A few years ago a friend told me, “You are the most intentional parent I know.” At the time it knocked me off me feet. It was a true compliment, and I was honored to receive it, yet it humbled me somehow.

What did she mean by intentional? How did my parenting style differ from hers or that of our friends?

I have spent a lot of time thinking about that comment over the years and thought it might be helpful, both for me and for you, to explore what it means to be an intentional parent. As a result, I am going to do a series of posts called “Intentional Parenting” that I’ll put up here every-other Monday for a few weeks. I think this will help me clarify my thinking about this topic, and maybe you’ll catch a parenting idea or two that will be helpful for you.
 

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Intentional Discipline (Original)

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Intentional Discipline (Original)

It’s funny that I should be writing about discipline because, truth be told, sometimes I feel like the most undisciplined person ever.

It’s not that my parents didn’t discipline me—they did. For sure. They made sure I behaved properly. They made sure I finished piano practice and homework before I watched T.V. They made me play outside and get plenty of exercise.

My parents tried their best to raise disciplined children . . . and yet . . .

And yet I fail so often.
 

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Intentional Truthfulness (Original)

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Intentional Truthfulness (Original)

It was long past Julia’s bedtime when she called out to me through choking sobs. “Mom? Could you please come in here?”

Oh my goodness, what could be wrong? I wondered as I rushed to her bedside. “What’s the matter, honey? Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not sick. I have to tell you something.”

“O.K. Tell me. What’s making you cry so hard?” I asked.
 

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Intentional Stewardship (Original)

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Intentional Stewardship (Original)

Let me just say right off the bat that I am no financial expert. I don’t even play one on T.V. But I do sleep with one, so maybe that makes me qualified to write this post. I don’t know.

What I do know is that money is a tricky, tricky issue. It can be the source of great joy, but it can also cause great sorrow. Talking about money is extremely emotional for me, which is why I try to avoid money talk as much as possible.
 

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Intentional Worship (Original)

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Intentional Worship (Original)

Most of the time I love worship. Most of the time I love going to church and spending time with our church body and worshipping with the people there.

Most of the time.

But there are days when my selfish self would just love to stay home on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, sipping tea and reading a book during that time. Sometimes it feels like such a hassle to get showered and dressed on a Sunday morning, especially one as cold and rainy as yesterday’s was.

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Intentional Kindness (Original)

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Intentional Kindness (Original)

Maybe I was a bully, but I remember fighting with my sisters a lot as a kid. In fact, I remember feeling sick to my stomach when my parents would go out, leaving us home alone, because I knew the evening would end badly. Call me the sensitive middle child, but the fighting really bothered me.

I wouldn’t say I became “friends” with my sisters until I reached adulthood which, I know, is the way it is with many siblings. But I think part of the reason for that is because we just plain weren’t nice to each other when we were kids. (Feel free to chime in here anytime, girls.) It could have been so much better.

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Intentional Prayer (Original)

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Intentional Prayer (Original)

As a young mom, I knew I wanted to be intentional about praying with and for my children, but I didn't know what that would look like on a day-to-day basis. I knew, and still know, the importance of prayer for my children, but it hasn't always worked out in the ways I thought it would.

As I've looked back over these "Intentional Parenting" posts, I've noticed a theme here: I'm intentional about the things that are hardest for me to carry out. Does that make sense to you? I hope so. I think that what I mean is that I sense the importance of being intentional about the things I find so hard to be intentional about.

And prayer is one of those things.

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Intentionally Letting Go (Original)

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Intentionally Letting Go (Original)

On the day my first daughter was born I held her in my arms, looked my husband in the eye and said, “I feel like my job from now on is to teach her to not need me anymore.” 

I know what you’re thinking: How weird is this woman?

But in all seriousness, whether that thought was from God or not, that idea has stayed with me for the past 18 years, and it has largely shaped my philosophy of parenting. And somehow I believe that in that most significant moment of my life, I was given a gift. 

The gift of letting go.

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Intentional Parenting - Conclusion to the original series

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Intentional Parenting - Conclusion to the original series

My friend, H, is going to have her first baby this week. Isn’t that exciting? She does not know yet how much her life is about to change, the thrill ride she is about to take, the highs and lows she will soon experience.

So, as a conclusion to my Intentional Parenting series, I thought I’d write an open letter to H, just giving her a little something to think about while she waits for her baby to be born.

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Introduction

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Introduction

Several years ago, 2010 in fact, I wrote a blog series titled "Intentional Parenting." Maybe you were around here back in 2010 and read those posts. But maybe you're new here and have no idea what I'm talking about. This series is for you. And for those who read the first time through. And for pretty much any parent who wants to think critically about this important job God has given you.

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Truthfulness

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Truthfulness

As you are well aware, we're in an election season. The races are tight. Talk to a handful of people and you'll get a handful of opinions on candidates and their character. 

Frankly, nobody I talk to seems to know for sure who to vote for this year because the candidates appear to be less than forthright about who they are or what they believe. 

Scandals abound on both sides of the political aisle. No political party has the corner on the integrity market, that's for sure. It's hard to know who's telling the truth anymore.

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Stewardship, Part 1

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Stewardship, Part 1

Let me just say right off the bat that I am no financial expert. I don’t even play one on T.V. (But I do sleep with one, so maybe that makes me qualified to write this post.)

What I do know is that money is a tricky, tricky issue. It can be the source of great joy, but it can also cause great sorrow.
 

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Stewardship, Part 2

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Stewardship, Part 2

Spending
“One for God, one for saving, two for spending.” Our family mantra. 

B learned it another way when he was growing up: “Give ten percent, save ten percent, and spend the rest with joy and thanksgiving.” 

Those numbers may have been tweaked a bit over the years, but the principal remains: if God has blessed you with money to spend, enjoy it. Don’t squander it, make sure you’re giving, but also don’t feel guilty about it.
 

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Service

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Intentional Parenting Reprise - Service

When I wrote about service a few years back, I talked about the benefits of service and how we can model service for our kids. I still think those points are valid. I still think serving others is fulfilling, joyful work. I still think there is so much to gain by serving others.

But as I’ve been thinking about this post since my last parenting post, I’ve been convinced that there is and should be something more to our thoughts about serving others and to what we teach our kids about service.

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