Nice to Meet Ya!

Hey! Guess what! I "guest blogged" yesterday over at Sandy's place. Sandy's wonderful, and she's been a great encouragement to me. She used one of my all-time favorite stories, so if you haven't read it here, you can go read it there.

Sandy also gave a little background about how we met, so if you're curious about how bloggers meet IRL (in real life), go check it out.

Intentional Parenting - Part 3; Intentionally Truthful

**Thanks for joining me in my Intentional Parenting series. From now on it will run EVERY Monday until I run out of things to say.**


It was long past Maggie’s bedtime when she called out to me through choking sobs. “Mom? Could you please come in here?”

Oh my goodness, what could be wrong? I wondered as I rushed to her bedside. “What’s the matter, honey? Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not sick. I have to tell you something.”

“O.K. Tell me. What’s making you cry so hard?” I asked.

“Today during library time Mrs. M got mad at me for talking.”

“Oh, honey, that’s O.K. I know how it is when kids get talking. Sometimes the teacher just has to get you to quiet down. Don’t worry about that.” I was getting kind of confused because Maggie’s story and her frenetic sobbing didn’t seem to match up.

“No, that’s not the bad part,” Maggie cried. “Later on, Mrs. M came around to see what books we had checked out of the library and I told her the names of two books. But, Mom . . . I lied!” And a fresh round of sobs choked out Maggie’s words. “One of the books was a Captain Underpants book, but I didn’t tell her the truth.”

At that point I just about burst out laughing because Maggie and I had had a few discussions about Captain Underpants books. Not only is the name ridiculous, but I also felt like Maggie’s reading level was well beyond the reading level of that series and I wanted her to challenge herself a little more. (Now, before you send me comments touting the praise of the CU books, remember that arguing the pros or cons of the Captain isn’t the purpose of my post here.)
The book itself wasn’t the source of Maggie’s sobbing—my daughter knew how I felt about lying, and at that moment she was being convicted of her sin in that area. I could not have been more pleased.

“So, what do you think you should do?” I asked.

“I need to tell Mrs. M the truth.”

Maggie and I talked for a while about telling the truth and confessing our sin and how she would approach the situation with her teacher. The next day, about 15 minutes before the start of school, Maggie and I walked hand-in-hand toward her classroom. Thankfully we caught her teacher just as she was walking into the room and a few minutes before the flurry of the day's activites began. She sat patiently with us as Maggie, through more sobbing and tears, confessed her lie to her teacher.

And then the most amazing thing happened. Her teacher tenderly forgave her. (Can I just say thank God for Christian teachers in the public school system?) That dear woman, under whom all three of my girls had the opportunity to learn, blessed my daughter in such an amazing way that day, just by forgiving her.

That moment was so difficult for Maggie (although, let me just tell you right here and now that this wasn’t the first time I had had to accompany a child to a confession to a teacher *ahem*), and yet it became such a step of maturity for her. Her teacher’s reaction had so much to do with it. It was such a beautiful, tangible picture of what our Heavenly Father does for us when we confess our sins to Him that I was left crying myself—so thankful for a teacher who “got it” and freely forgave my daughter.

And you know what? Maggie practically floated out of the room after our little talk with her teacher. She beamed. So happy to have received forgiveness. I have a feeling that because of that, Maggie won't hesitate to apologize for her wrongs in the future. And I have a feeling she'll think twice before she tells a lie to a teacher!

Why Truthfulness Matters
I learned something about myself when I became a parent—I hate lying. Any form of it. Untruthfulness just sits wrong with me. From the time my girls were very young and began to experiment with lying, they began to see that it was one of those unpardonable sins in my book. They’d get disciplined for lying every single time.

God hates lying too. Check out what He says about it:

“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Proverbs
12:22

“Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks
the truth.” Proverbs 16:13

“These are the things you are to do: Speak
the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts.”
Zechariah 8:16

So why does it matter that your children tell the truth?

First, because God commands it. Remember the 10 Commandments? Don’t bear false witness against your neighbor? That’s lying.

Second, because your child’s reputation is at stake. I would venture to say that Maggie’s teacher probably felt like she could trust her after that day. On the flip side, I know kids who regularly tell lies—even of the white variety—and honestly, I take what they tell me with a grain of salt. In the back of my mind I often wonder, “Really? Is that the truth?” Don’t you want your children to be known for being trustworthy and honest?

Third, truthfulness matters because it’s right. It used to be that a person’s word was his bond, but that’s no longer the case. We live in a world of lawyers and lawsuits and courts trying to determine whose word can we trust. How much more will our children stand out in this world if they become adults who are truthful? But the time to instill truthfulness in a person is when they are young—it becomes much harder to break the lying habit when kids get older.

How Do You Instill a Sense of Truthfulness?
Insist on it. Every time. If you catch your children in a lie, take them aside and talk about it. Discipline it. Take care of it before it gets to be too big.

My girls knew that if they told a lie there would be consequences—every single time. They knew that I would not mess around with lying because it is so important to their character. I was intentional about truthfulness from the very beginning.

But here’s the interesting thing I’ve found . . . because I took truthfulness so seriously and punished lying so consistently when they were young, my girls have grown into honest young women whom I know I can trust to tell the truth. They are women whom their teachers can trust, whom their college roommates can trust, and, most importantly, whom their future spouses can trust.

As they become trustworthy women, God can entrust them with so much more than if they were women with lying lips. And that’s ultimately what we should all want.

So I want to encourage you today to intentionally break the lying habit. If it's a problem in your life, stop it. Today. And if you see your kids venturing down that road, save them from the inevitable crash that will result. Don't allow even "white lies" (they're still lies!) to cross their lips. Insist on truthfulness all the time.

Now talk. How do you combat lying in your kids? What do you think about those little white lies?

If you'd like to read parts 1 and 2 of this series, click here and here.

Seven Quick Takes Friday

Well, now, I haven't done a Seven Quick Takes post in a loooong while now, have I? But this week there are so many things rolling around in this little pea-sized brain of mine that I think I should just throw them all out there and see what happens.

1
Did I mention that Maggie turned 12 last week? Let me just say that if a girl was ever spoiled on her 12th birthday, it is this girl. Here's a quick recap: Blackhawks game with her dad. Skybox. Bobble Head night. Poster with her name on it. Meeting the Blackhawks president, John McDunough. Mr. McDunough leaving the box and coming back with a gift for her. Toewes t-shirt. Long-sleeved t-shirt. Hoodie. Hat. NAME IN LIGHTS UP ON THE SCOREBOARD. Need I say more?

2
I feel like I started a new job this week since I've started writing semi-seriously. Thanks to all of you who are praying me through this. It's a lot harder to make the time than I thought it would be. Believe me, the offer is still out there, so if you'd like to join my merry band of pray-ers, drop me an email and I'll add you to the list.

3
The biggest blogging conference of the year happened last weekend, and I missed it. I'll explain why in a post tomorrow (or next week), but it sure sounds like an amazing time was had by all. There are all kinds of posts going around, recaps of everyone's adventures at Blissdom, but Emily's was one of my favorites. If you read it you'll see why.

4
See this face?


This is the face of anticipation. It's the face I get every morning before Thunder the Wonder Dog and I take our walk. Some days the walk is short, but some days it's about 3 miles. Like yesterday, in 20 degree weather. But really, could you resist that face?

5
Kay offered up some great thoughts on the different stages of parenting yesterday at her place. I've recently gotten to know Kay a bit through blogging, and I have to say that she is a gem. One of those people I'd really like to meet someday. One of the few bloggers I've met who is kind of in my stage of life. Anyway, go read it. You'll like it. I promise.

6
And speaking of parenting posts . . . check back on Monday for the next in my Intentional Parenting series. In case you've missed the first couple of posts, you can find them here and here.

And while I'm talking about the IP series, I think I'm going to make that an EVERY Monday thing rather than an every-other Monday thing from here on out. I'm just afraid people will get confused by the every-other thing, as I'm sure I would if it weren't me writing the posts and deciding when to put them on my blog.

Nothing like another challenge, huh?

7
Is anyone else excited about the Olympics like we are around here? We missed the summer Olympics two years ago because we were in Switzerland at the time. It was such a bummer to get home and realize that there was only one day left of the competition and that it was Greco-Roman Wrestling or something equally obscure.

Anyway, this year we will be home and firmly planted in front of the big screen because one of our neighbors, a girl who attended the same elementary school as my girls and who goes to our church and who lives just two blocks away from us, is going to be competing! Look for Nancy Swider-Peltz, Jr. who will be competing in the women's 3000m speed skating race this Sunday. She says the competition begins at 3 p.m. Central time, but she probably won't be in the first pairing.

I'm a fan of Nancy's on Facebook, and I don't think she'd mind my sharing her blog with you all. It's a fascinating look behind the scenes at the Olympics.

Go Nancy, go!!!

Thanks to Jen at Conversion Diary for hosting Seven Quick Takes.

Woe to the person who tries to buy these tickets

When the mail arrived yesterday I was so excited to see a large-ish envelope from the R&A. Anyone who knows anything about golf probably knows that the R&A stands for Royal & Ancient--in other words, the birthplace of golf.

I had been waiting for this envelope for a few weeks now,and I was so excited to see it in the stack of otherwise junk and bills and sale papers.

Except for one thing. This is what my envelope came in . . .



And this is what my envelope looked like . . .



My envelope contained two pieces of paper. One was a letter telling me that the tickets I had ordered were enclosed. The other was a lot of very small print that basically said that the R&A was not responsible for lost or stolen tickets.



What the envelope did NOT contain was tickets. About 14 tickets for a really important event that B and I, along with my parents, sisters, and brothers-in-law, will be attending next summer. Our anniversary trip that we have been looking forward to for, oh, about 25 years.

I immediately got into the car and headed to the post office where I met with a supervisor who basically said, "Well . . . um . . . ah . . . oh boy . . . gee . . ." You get the picture.

I think his lack of speaking skills may have something to do with why he's a supervisor at the post office, but who am I to judge?

I called my parents to tell them what had happened. They're doing whatever they can on their end, but they didn't get many answers either.

Then I talked to my kids. They're always so helpful and full of answers. Kate immediately said, "Mom, someone stole them out of the envelope," and I came back with, "Yeah, but that would be stupid because they'd have to go to SCOTLAND to use them!" to which she looked at me sideways like I was some kind of postal worker or something and said, "Mom. EBay."

Oh yeah.

Finally, in desperation, I sent an email to the R&A. Basically it said:

Dear Kindly British Sir or Madam:

I am desperate for your help. My parents and I are planning a trip to your event next summer, and I was thrilled to receive your envelope today, but the envelope was ripped and the tickets were not in it and I need your help. Please, please, please help me.

Oh, and did I mention that this trip was supposed to be for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary? You wouldn't want to let them down now, would you?

I am counting on your sense of fairness and trust to send me another set of tickets or else my entire 2010 will be a complete bust. Over before it even begins.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Very sincerely and grovelly yours,

Shelly

So what do you think? Think it'll work? Think I'll even hear from them? I'm sure praying that it will be so. I'll let you know.

**Update** Just this afternoon I got an email from the R&A saying this: "Do not worry about the tickets as these can all be cancelled as they have barcodes on them. Therefore if anyone turns up at the paygates with them they will be denied access." Isn't that so nice? I'm so relieved.

The Super Show After the Super Bowl

Did you see it? Sunday night? That great show?

No, not the Super Bowl. The show that was on after the Super Bowl.
"Undercover Boss," I think was the name.

Sunday night I was tired from all that partying we did at the Women's Retreat last weekend. It was a fun-fest, I'm telling you. Especially Saturday night's rendition of "To Tell the Truth" with some pretty, shall I say, well-respected members of our church telling outright LIES in front of 250 women. And laughing at their untruths, even! Imagine.

Anyway, the events of the weekend, which may or may not be recounted here at a later date, left me feeling pretty much out-of-it by the time I got home on Sunday afternoon. I rested a bit and then I got a junk-food feast prepared for my family so that we could watch the "Big Game" together. (Just curious--why don't other channels and T.V. shows just call it what it is--the Super Bowl? Why do they have to call it the "Big Game" or the "Big Event" or the "Big Whatever"? That kind of bugs me.)

So by the time the game had ended Sunday night I was really tired. Dragging, even. I had watched the entire game in its entirety and was entirely impressed that it was such a good game. But then it was time to hit the bed. Entirely.

Except for one thing. I started watching this new show called "Undercover Boss" and got hooked within about two minutes.

Did you see it? Everyone was talking, blogging, and Tweeting about it yesterday. Even B, who actually made it upstairs to bed before he got sucked into the vortex of that show, knew everything that happened on it because he said everyone at work was talking about it. Crazy how that happens, isn't it?

Anyway, just in case you missed it, here were what I thought were some of the highlights.

- COO of Waste Management, Larry O'Donnell, literally managing waste in some of their porta potties. I don't know how he did that without throwing up. Honestly. Whoever does that does not get paid enough.

- The dear waste hauler, Kathy (I think that was her name), getting out of her truck to hug some of the people on her route. What a sweetheart she was. I am sure I've never met our garbage man. Of course, we're on the beginning of the route, so he comes much too early for me to be outside just waiting to give him a hug.

- Watching Larry try to sort the papers and trash on the moving belt in the recycling plant. Kind of reminded me of the "I Love Lucy" episode with the chocolates.

- In the end, the woman who was doing the jobs of three people finally got a promotion, a bonus, and a raise which then allowed her to keep her dream home. Now, isn't that what you want to see? Someone who works hard finally getting recognized for it? I absolutely loved how Larry helped her out, not by handing her some money, but by giving her more responsibility. She earned every penny of her raise.

I think I may have a new favorite show. And I definitely know what company I'd like to work for if this stay-at-home-mom gig ever dries up. Waste Management rocks! (Don't tell my kids I just said that.)

Of course, next week they're featuring the CEO or President or Founder or Whatever of Hooters, so the highlights could be . . . um . . . completely different. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be entertaining. (I'm also pretty sure I won't want to go work for him.) I think I'll watch and see what happens.

*Photo credit: CBS.com

Book Review - Thin Places, A Memoir

Warning: the book you are about to read is real. It's raw. It's honest. If you like to keep things light and happy, this book is probably not for you. But if you want to read a true redemption story, give this one a try.

Mary DeMuth has done it again--she's made me think, made me wonder about life, and made me feel so grateful. Mostly, she's made me see God's hand in a new and wonderful way.

Just as I said about her previous novel, A Slow Burn, this book is not easy to read. Mary would probably be the first to tell you that she's had a tough life. Growing up with less-than-attentive parents was hard. Really hard. Mary experienced things that no little girl should ever have to experience, and as a mother of daughters, I do not say that lightly. Never. Ever.

My heart ached for Mary as I read her words, and yet, I rejoiced that the God of the Universe would reach down into all that brokenness and pick her out to proclaim His goodness. It's amazing, really, the picture of redemption that Mary's life paints.

With brutal honesty, Mary tells about her childhood abuse, her struggles on the mission field, and challenges in her marriage. Yet through it all, Mary shows how she has seen God in the "thin places" of her life--those places where He has lifted the veil, ever-so-briefly, and revealed Himself to her. It's beautiful to see how Mary weaves God's redemption into every aspect of her life.

I resonated with many of Mary's emotions, not because I have endured what she endured, but because she has chosen to honestly share her insecurities as a mom, as a wife, and as a person. I get that. Here are a couple of quotes that I really identified with:

"I am sitting with Sophie, Aidan, Julia, and Patrick [her children and husband] around our table. We are eating dinner and sharing our days. I battle inside
myself, wondering if I should share my frustrating day or just let it rest
securely inside my head. Such heaviness settles on me that I don't want to
infect my children. But when it's my turn, I make a snap decision to speak up.

'I have had a hard day,' I tell them. 'I got another book rejection.' I
expand the story, letting my family know the wrenching details. I take in a deep
breath. 'And here's the thing. When I'm rejected it sends me to this very dark
pit, to this place where I wonder if I'm worthy enough to take up space on this
earth.' I point my finger into the table. 'This space right here.'

'Mommy," Julia says. 'I love you. I'm so glad God made you to be my mommy.'

'I don't know where I"d be without you,' Sophie says.

'Please don't feel like that,' Aidan tells me.

'I love you.'Patrick grabs my hand.

In that embrace of words, I am home."

And in another chapter, she talks honestly about her own insecurities, something I could really relate to:

" . . . I'm insecure at heart.

I love to order my world. When others don't like me, my world breaks apart. And I panic. I can be secure when everyone approves.

. . . I drive myself nutty, all for the sake of wanting every single person on this earth to like me. Notice me. Not criticize me.

. . . Even though I know it's a lie, I tend to believe that in order to be valued and loved, I must never do anything to hurt anyone. Likewise, in order to love myself, I must never do anything wrong.

That sure doesn't leave room for grace, does it?"

But in her chapter on insecurity, Mary also says this: "It all comes down to who you want to like you." That line hit me squarely between the eyes. And in my heart. With that one line, Mary pointed me back to the cross and to Jesus, the only One whose opinion of me really matters.

And that's what this book does. Yes, it reveals a broken girl, a broken life, a broken world, but it also shows that the only opinion that really matters is of the One who redeemed our lives from the pit. Mary lifts our eyes and helps us see Him.

This morning, as I opened my Bible, I read Psalm 124. I was contemplating writing this review, and the passage seemed so fitting that I think I'll quote it here.

"What if the LORD had not been on our side?
Let all Israel repeat:
What if the LORD had not been on our side
when people attacked us?
They would have swallowed us alive
in their burning anger.
The waters would have engulfed us:
a torrent would have overwhelmed us.
Yes, the raging waters of their fury
would have overwhelmed our very lives.
Praise the LORD,
who did not let their teeth tear us apart!
We escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap.
The trap is broken, and we are free!
Our help is from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth."
Psalm 124 (NLT)

Don't Hate Me Because I'm an Introvert

Don't you just love it when your friends, who know your issues, take an opportunity to remind you of those issues?

I mean, it's not like I don't know my issues, right? I know I wear holey socks and that my husband hates it when I do that. (I actually think that when I wear holey socks it makes him feel like he can't provide socks without holes for our family. Trust me, he can. It's just that I hate to throw anything away, especially socks, because I know that once they're in my shoes nobody can see the holes.)

I know that I tend to ask my teenage daughters too many questions--what mom of teenagers doesn't? (And just for the record, too many questions would be exactly one. One question is too many for them.)

I know that I have an irrational dislike of people who make loud, repetative noises in public and that nervous tics make me, well, nervous.

I have issues. What can I say?

But one of my "issues," if you can even call it that, has become even bigger and more glaring the older I get and the longer I'm a stay-at-home mom. Because my issue is that I've become an introvert.

Oh sure, you could probably argue that a person is born that way, and maybe I was. Looking back now I realize that I spent lots of hours alone as a child, wandering through the cornfields with a book in my hand. I mean, when you grow up on a farm, there really aren't that many people to be social with. Maybe I just didn't get enough practice being social, I don't know. I guess the difference is that when you're an introvert you don't really mind that there's nobody around to bug you.

Anyway, back to my issues and to my friend who pointed one out to me. Recently Amy sent me a quick email that said, "This is perfect for you. You'll love it." And there was a link to an article titled, "Caring for Your Introvert" by Jonathan Rauch.

Well, I'm here to tell you that love it I did. It's one of those articles that you wish you were reading with someone else in the room so you could go, "Oh, listen to this! Isn't that just like me?" That article (go click on the title above to read the full text), written by a self-described introvert, pretty much sums up yours truly to a tee.

The author describes introverts as misunderstood people who don't really hate other people, they just don't like or need to be around them that much. He says every introvert's motto is "I'm O.K., you're O.K.--in small doses."

Bwahahah. Get it? If so, you, too, might be an introvert.

I'm kind of a slow learner, though, and not all that self-aware, because I really didn't come to a full realization of the level of my introversion until a few years ago, when I was driving home from a writer's conference with my friend, Cheryl. Cheryl-the-extrovert.

She was driving (thank goodness!) and chattering on and on about how great the weekend was and about all the great people she had met and all the great conversations she had had. Everything was GREAT! And there I sat in the passenger's seat, quietly listening to Cheryl recount her absolutely fabulously great weekend.

It's not that I didn't also have a great weekend--I had. I loved every minute of it, but I realized as we drove and she talked that my tank was empty. I had had enough of talking and listening and conversing and schmoozing. I was completely depleted and had nothing left. I desperately needed to get alone for a while to recharge my batteries.

As I made this observation to my friend, she just laughed and admitted that she was completely opposite from me in that way. After being with people all weekend she was charged up, ready to go. She could have taken many more days just like that weekend and have been perfectly happy.

So, of course I had to laugh when I read this in the article Amy sent to me: "After an hour or two of being socially 'on,' we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing."

I like that formula: two hours "off" for every hour "on."

Rauch is quick to add that introverts aren't trying to be rude or arrogant, although that's how we can come across sometimes; it's just that we're playing things out in our head instead of through our mouths.

Which brings me to my current conundrum. I'm going away this weekend. On a retreat. A women's retreat. Do you know what that does to an introvert like me? It makes me want to run the other way. It makes me want to hide. It makes me want to slather myself in lotion and slide right out of the picture for a while.

Because you know women. Women like to talk (so do some men I know, but that's another post for another day). Most women, I would venture to say, are extroverts. And introverts like me make extroverts like most women kind of nervous.

I think they think we're weird. Or worse, as Rauch points out, aloof or arrogant.

But we're not. We just need a little more time alone so that we can actually muster up enough energy to spend time with the rest of you. Talking. And listening. And socializing.

But here's the thing. I am excited about going on this retreat because of some of the great women I'm going to be able to spend time with. I'm going to suck it up, that need to be alone, and I am going to socialize. I'm going to talk. And I'm going to listen. And I'm going to try with everything that is in my to NOT come across as aloof.

Even though I'll be counting down the hours until I can be home again. Safe in my little haven. With people who understand my need to just be quiet. And alone. Blessedly alone.

Come Monday.

Putting It Out There

My buddy, Jon (and I use that term so very loosely because a) I have never met Jon and b) Jon has absolutely no idea who I am in the entire universe), when he's not busy selling his new book that comes out in April, has some funny and profound things to say.

You'd think I'm a stalker for as many times as I've linked to Jon here. But I'm not. Because I don't even read every single one of his posts--there are too many. And, besides, he's way too young for me from what I can tell.

But dear Jon does make me think, as one of his recent posts really did. In fact, I can't get it out of my mind, so I thought I'd just hash it out here, if you don't mind.

In this post, Jon talks about finding the one thing you're "made" to do. He suggests that you're probably getting warm if you find the one thing that satan (he uses the small "s" for satan because he says that's the "middle finger of grammar"--a phrase that has made me chuckle more than twice over the past few days) constantly tries to divert you away from. It's the thing that satan tries to keep you from doing because ". . . he only attacks things that matter."

So Jon, in his much-more-humorous-than-me way, gets his readers to think about what exactly satan doesn't want them to do. And then challenges them to just do it. Because it's what satan-with-a-small-"s" wouldn't want.

And it got me to thinking about the thing I always have on my mind--writing my story, as weak and mundane as it might be. But it's there, always there, in my mind and in my heart. But it's also the thing that I so easily put on the back burner, probably because it's just the thing that satan doesn't want me to do.

Jon's post got me to thinking that if I put it out here, as I've just done, and let all of you know that this "thing" that I think I'm supposed to do is the one "thing" that I so easily put off until it's the last thing on my list, that maybe . . . just maybe . . . a few of you might pray that I would have the strength and the courage and the determination to actually put that thing on the front burner. To make it #1 on my list of things to do today.

And so I'm throwing out a challenge to myself and to you. My challenge is that, starting next week, I will work on my story for two hours a day, five days a week, for a month. At the end of four weeks, I'll report back and let you know what God has done.

My challenge for you is to pray for me. And if you are willing to do that, would you kindly send me an email (wildmom3.at.sbcglobal.dot.net) letting me know? I would appreciate it more than you could ever imagine.

Who knows? Maybe I'll have a little more discipline at the end of four weeks.

And maybe I'll have so much more.

Travel Tuesday - The Top 5 Best Things About Getting Away for the Weekend

Shhhh. We snuck (is that a word?) away for the weekend. Nope, I didn't tell you I was leaving. I need to keep a few things a secret around here, don't I?

B and I had the good fortune to be invited to Park City, UT last weekend. We went with three couples from our small group (but we sure missed those who didn't come!). And no kids. Enough said.

The weekend is hard to put into words, so I'll just list the top 5 things about sneaking away to Park City for the weekend.

1. Skiing with my hubby. We have really only done that once before, and this time was so much fun. I especially enjoyed talking to him as we meandered down the hill (and believe me, meander is just about all I can do on those slopes). He encourages me to keep trying, even though I feel like I can't ski very well. I love that he does that.



2. Spending time with friends. We've been in a small group with these friends for over 15 years . . . some for over 20 years. We've watched each other's kids grow up, and we've been through a lot together in that time. It's always great to be together and to celebrate God's goodness to all of us.



3. Enjoying the great outdoors. I thought a lot about this this weekend: I don't consider myself that much of a nature girl, but I really feel closest to God when I'm outside. And on the slopes I really felt close to God as I cried out to Him for help getting down the mountain.



4. Watching Olympic athletes train for competition. Oh. My. Word. We went to the Utah Olympic Park where we got to see actual Olympic aerial jumpers train for the actual Olympics which will actually be taking place in two weeks. It was amazing. That's pretty much all I can say about that. Amazing.



And I can't wait for the Olympics.


5. Coming home to an immaculately clean house and dinner on the table. What can I say? I've trained my children well. And I loved them even more when I saw what they could do this weekend.

All in all, it was great. And kind of like a fairy tale in many ways. I had to keep pinching myself to make sure it was real.

But it was indeed real. And now I'm back to reality. *sigh*

Intentional Parenting - Part 2; Intentionally Disciplined

It’s funny that I should be writing about discipline because, truth be told, sometimes I feel like the most undisciplined person ever.

It’s not that my parents didn’t discipline me—they did. For sure. They made sure I behaved properly. They made sure I finished piano practice and homework before I watched T.V. They made me play outside and get plenty of exercise.

My parents tried their best to raise disciplined children . . . and yet . . .

And yet I fail so often.

I have many days that my lack of discipline has me getting up late, rushing to get kids to school, foregoing my workout in order to get other things done, leaving my kitchen a mess until dinner, neglecting my time with God.

And just last week I found it much easier to rationalize the behavior of one of my kids so that I didn’t have to do the hard work of disciplining her. I just didn’t want to do it. (But I did.)

So, really, me? Write about discipline? I want to laugh and tell you it’s a joke, but that wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is, I know how important discipline is in my life because I lack it so much.

And another truth . . . I see how important it is going to be in the lives of my daughters because they aren’t naturally self-disciplined either. Who really is?

So today I want to explore this idea of intentional discipline. What is it? Why is it important? What does it mean for our kids?

What is Discipline?
First of all, let me say what discipline is NOT. I am not talking about the old “to-spank-or-not-to-spank” question. (Remember, intentional parenting asks “why” not “how.”) There are plenty of how-to-discipline-your-children books out there—some of them very good.

I’m not here to tell you how to discipline your kids, but rather to encourage you to really do the hard work of discipline so that your children will enjoy happy, productive lives and relationships.

So, I’m not talking about spanking. I’m not talking about shaking a finger at your child for spilling his milk. The discipline I’m talking about is self-discipline—helping your kids monitor their own behavior so that, ultimately, they will become well-disciplined adults.

Does this require sacrifice on the part of a parent? You bet it does. It also requires paying attention, giving your time, and doing some hard work.

A lot of hard work.

Why Discipline?
I’ve already hinted at this, but I’ll say it a little differently: I’m afraid that undisciplined kids become undisciplined adults. And being an undisciplined adult is a very hard person to be.

This may seem like a simplistic example (and it probably is), but even on the days when I give in to my slothfulness, I feel out-of-sorts. I feel like my day just doesn’t go quite right. I feel like my lack of discipline affects not just me, but everyone around me. I can’t imagine living like that every day.

And, worse yet, when I am undisciplined about my time with God, my relationship with Him is affected. I don’t enjoy the peace that I would normally enjoy on a day when I’ve taken time with Him. I don’t enjoy that closeness with God, all because of my own lack of discipline.

So, you see, my relationships are affected when I lack discipline.

Undisciplined adults also tend to lack stick-to-it-iveness. When situations become hard, undisciplined people give up. They don’t have the inner fortitude to just hang in there and keep going. A strong sense of discipline will help a kid become an adult who can handle tough situations without wilting under pressure.

Finally, we discipline because God calls us to do it. The Bible has a whole lot to say about discipline. God disciplines us for our own good—because He loves us; as parents, we should do the same. God calls a person who lacks discipline evil (Proverbs 5:22-23). Now there’s a scary thought, huh? And the Bible says that a person who is disciplined is called “blessed” (Psalm 94:12).

To show our children love, to save them from evil, and to ultimately bless them—these are the reasons we take discipline seriously.

Intentional Discipline
So when I encourage you (and me) to discipline your kids intentionally, what do I mean? I mostly mean don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to set rules and to follow them consistently. Do the hard work it takes for your kids to become the well-disciplined adults you want them to be.

Some friends of ours have been fantastic examples of this. They have set the expectation that each of their children will spend time reading their Bibles every morning before breakfast. (What a wonderful discipline to instill in our children!) But just telling their kids to read their Bibles every day wouldn’t be particularly intentional. Our friends take their expectation to a new level when the family meets together for breakfast in the morning. Our friend (their dad) asks each of his kids what they read in the Bible that morning. If one child has not had time to read that morning, perhaps choosing a few more minutes of sleep over Bible reading, our friend sends them back to their room for a few minutes to spend time reading the Bible. No breakfast until his children have fed on God’s word first.

Personally, I have a thing about getting homework done (probably because my mom did too), so one rule in our home is that homework and practicing instruments must be done before any television is turned on after school. (My parents were more strict—no T.V. until 6:30 p.m.) If my child chooses to put off homework for a little while after school, that’s O.K.—they do need a little break sometimes—but they understand that they will not watch T.V. until all chores are done.

It might sound like a small thing, but I hope this is teaching my girls that they must be disciplined with their use of time. Sure, they have choices about how they use their time, but they also need to realize that they have to prioritize their time in order to get the most important stuff done first.

So guess what? It takes discipline to discipline your kids. Really. It takes determination. It takes setting rules. It takes follow-through. Sometimes it takes time and energy and even tears on your part in order to see the fruit of strong discipline in the lives of your kids.

And I fail. Every day I fail at this. But I have to keep telling myself that it’s worth it. It really is. Because I’m seeing results every day.

So, let’s talk. What are the things that you are intentional about in the area of discipline? What discipline is it important for you to see in your child? What’s hard about discipline for you?

These Should Keep You Reading Through the Weekend

I've been thinking about writing lately. A lot. As in, I really need to get some priorities rearranged, but more about that next week.

So today I thought I'd share some links to posts that have made me think about writing and blogging lately.

Michael Hyatt, guru of all things publishing and bloggy, wrote a great article titled, "Do You Make These 10 Mistakes When You Blog?" I'd have to say, yes, I've made them all.

And I know I link to him sometimes, but Jon Acuff makes me think. Here's one that did.

Emily at Chatting at the Sky is writing a book! Isn't that exciting? She was one of the blogging track speakers at She Speaks last summer, so I'm especially thrilled that she's now writing. Anyway, she wrote a great post sharing her perspective on publishing.

Earlier this week Alexis Grant, who is taking her readers on her voyage of writing a memoir, wrote some of the best writing advice I've read in a while. Simple, but profound.

And here. Just in case you need some Springtime. This one's not about writing (although it might just inspire you to take pen to paper). Just my friend, Antique Mommy, taking pictures in her back yard.

What NOT to do next time you're in Costa Rica

O.K., this is probably my last big Costa Rica post because you're probably getting sick of reading about this latest adventure in my life. If so, just turn away and come back tomorrow.

But I just had to follow up with this post because I've already told you many of my impressions. Things that made me laugh about our cultural differences. But today I wanted to tell you about what our Costa Rican guests, M and L, thought some of the main differences were.

On their last night here we ate dinner and headed out for one last shopping trip (oh my goodness, those girls could SHOP!). As we drove, the girls shared some of the main things that we do that they thought were kind of . . . shall we say . . . strange.

1. Drinking milk with dinner. I don't think the girls had ever, not once in their lives, drank milk with their dinner. L said she really thought she would get sick if she drank milk with food. Isn't that just hilarious?

2. Phone numbers. "Your phone numbers are LONG," they told me.

3. Stop signs. They aren't just suggestions here. People really do stop at them.

4. Mini vans. Everybody has one. (Oh, don't get me started.)

5. Pointy roofs. Their words, not mine. I guess they were struck by the slant in our roofs and the black shingles everyone uses here. Their roofs are all flat and tiled.

6. No gates. This was one of those glaring differences that they pointed out right away on the first night--nobody has gates. Apparently in Costa Rica, everyone has a gate for security. Which led to a discussion about guns and safety in America. They felt extremely safe here despite all the media talk about how apparently everyone in America carries a gun. (Which they found to be so not true.) One of the girls even said it was such a relief to not have to always be thinking about holding her purse close to her body so it wouldn't get snatched.

7. This last one made me laugh so hard. Nose blowing in public. They thought it was so strange that it's considered O.K. for people to blow their nose in public (although my husband would disagree with that one). They said that in Costa Rica nobody would ever blow their nose in public--it's considered something similar to letting loose another bodily function in public.

So there you go. If you're ever in Costa Rica, you'll be way ahead of the game. You'll know that in your incredibly small rental car you can slide through that stop sign. You won't drink milk with dinner in a home with a flat tiled roof and a huge gate out front. And it will be much easier to call a friend with their short phone numbers and all.

And finally, you'll know to never, ever, under any circumstance, blow your nose in front of another person.

Tacky

Just because it's Wordless Wednesday.

And it's ski season.

And I miss Switzerland.

I never really thought of myself as Type-A, but . . .

Well, our dear Costa Rican “daughters” left on Saturday. I can’t even begin to tell you how much fun we had while they were here or about how many activities they packed into three weeks or about how many differences I observed between us.

But there was one difference I just have to write about because it became a bit of a joke among our family. That is our sense of time. We discovered that there’s our hyper-punctual-never-be-late sense of American time . . . and then there’s Costa Rican time.

Nary the twain shall meet.

Last Thursday was a perfect example. I had every minute of my day planned out, and it looked something like this:

2:15 - pick up Abby at school
2:30 - pick up CR students at church
2:35 - drop off CR students with admissions rep at college for informational meeting and campus tour
3:00 - drop off Abby at church for tutoring ministry
4:15 - pick up CR students at college
4:30 - pick up quick dinner at Qdoba
4:50 - pick up refugee girl for basketball practice (oh, that’s another story for another day)
5:00 - drop off Maggie and our refugee girl at b.ball practice
5:30 - take CR students to church for Blue Man Group
6:00 - pick up Maggie and A from b.ball practice; drive A back home
7:00 - B and I out for a birthday dinner w/ friends

See? Every minute of my afternoon, planned out. Probably a little too much planned out. I was a little frantic when I picked up our Costa Rican girls at 2:30. I hustled them out of the building and into my car, explaining that the admissions rep at the college had exactly 30 minutes to talk to them before she had to leave to go home.

I suddenly had this out-of-body experience as I was walking up the steps in our church, explaining our busy afternoon schedule. I saw myself from above, making wild hand gestures as I tried to get through to these girls that we had to go, go, GO. I suddenly thought that they must think I’m silly, hurrying the way I was.

Then L, one of our CR girls who didn’t seem to be listening to a word I was saying, turned and said, “I think J is going to take me to Kohl’s this afternoon.”

HUH?! WHAT?! WHEN?!

I tried to remain calm.

“Oh really,” I tried a casual this-doesn’t-bother-me-a-bit tone. “When are you going to do that?”

“Oh, later this afternoon.”

Finally, I couldn’t contain myself any longer. (I know. I’m a paragon of restraint.) “L, you don’t have time for that! I’m taking you over to the college right now, which will take until 4:30, and then you’ll have just one hour to eat something and get yourself ready to go to the theater. You have to be back at church at 5:30.”

I must have looked and sounded like an idiot to them. I think my face might have been just a little bit red.

“Oh, O.K., we just won’t be able to do that," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

The entire incident left me scratching my head. Am I that much tied to the clock that I would go crazy over her suggestion that a friend take her shopping? Are they that laid back about time that she would have absolutely no clue what I was explaining to her?

We had a real disconnect about time, and believe me, that wasn’t an isolated incident.

Mornings were a bit of a challenge for me, too, as sometimes the person picking them up had to wait a few minutes in the driveway. A serious breach of etiquette in my house where we call ourselves the most on-time family you’ll ever meet. You just don’t make people wait. Ever.

But you know what? I learned something through all of this. I learned that we Americans (and by “we Americans” I mean me) are just way too tied to the clock. If I’m a few minutes late, it’s O.K. It doesn’t make me a bad person. And if I have to wait a few minutes for a friend to show up to lunch, so be it. It won’t kill me.

As I pictured myself as the girls must have seen me that day last week, I kind of cringe to think how . . . excuse me . . . anal I am about being on time. I must have seemed so silly to them, worrying about being a minute late.

And then it got me to thinking, I wonder what I’m missing when I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

The Birfday Boy

**If you're looking for my "Intentional Parenting" series, come back next Monday. I'm running it every-other Monday.**



Hey, who's that handsome boy standing with the wrinkly woman with the poofed out hair?

That's my hubby, B, and today is his birthday.

Let me tell you just a few things I love about B.

- I love that he's older than me. O.K., so he's only 3 months older than me, but I'll take it.

- I love that he's a DODO--Dad Of Daughters Only--and he wears the mantle proudly.

- I love that he's just about the only guy I know who would sit through the stage production of "Mama Mia" with me. Twice.

- I love that he would give up watching the "greatest playoff game in history" to watch "Forrest Gump" with his daughter.

- I love that he encourages me to write and to reach for that dream I have.

- I love that he doesn't think my dreams are silly.

- I love that he makes me laugh. Every. Single. Day.

Here's something you probably don't know. B has a blog. Yep. That's right. He's dipping his toe into the blogosphere pool, . . . but just his little toe. He hasn't gone for the big toe yet.

But he will. Someday. When life slows down which will be in about 20 years or so.

Anyway, as a little birthday present to B, would you head over there and give him a shout out? You might find some pretty interesting reading while you're at it.

Heck, you might even want to follow him which shouldn't be too taxing on your reader because he doesn't post that often. I mean, blogging's fun and all, but he's kind of busy working, and I wouldn't want him to stop doing that.

Friday Randomness - 2

It's Friday. Seems like on Friday I just need to clear my head of all the rambling, rolling, raucous thoughts going on in my head. So hang on, here we go.

1. Posting this week was a bit sporadic, mostly because on Wednesday afternoon I walked in my back door and all of a sudden the world started spinning. I managed to get dinner on the table, but headed straight to bed after that. Thursday was so busy that I didn't even have time to think about how I was feeling, but this morning . . . well, not so much.

2. As a result of having some kind of dizzy disease this week, my husband said something to me this morning that I don't think he's said in 25 years of marriage. "Hey, after you get all the kids off to school, why don't you just go back to bed?"

WHERE IS MY HUSBAND AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM?? Serously, I think he's mellowing with age. So I got that going for me. . . .

Which is nice.

I think.

3. Name the movie.

4. Our sweet Costa Rican daughters leave tomorrow morning. Many, many tears will be shed, I'm sure. We have had such a great time with them, and I've learned some things. Things that will take a much longer post to explain, so come back next week when I reveal the main difference I have seen between "them" and "us."


5. B's birthday is on Monday, and I have no idea what to get him. Could you help me out a little? What do you get for a guy who has a newfound love for hockey, who has a reputation for neatness, who occasionally slips, who knows how to score great tickets, and who is a great family guy. What did you get for your husband at his last birthday?



6. I'm so excited about this weekend. We're taking the girls to see the stage production of "Mama Mia." Oh, you can say whatever you want, but I'm a sucker for a good Abba song, and to me, they're all good. B and I saw "Mama Mia" on Broadway a couple of years ago, but it was so strange . . . nobody danced, nobody clapped, nobody sang. I thought this was supposed to be an interactive show, but nothing. Nada. Nope. It was weird.

So this morning I told the girls that I was hoping for more, so much more, from this show. I'm really hoping for lots of raucous singing and dancing from the audience. But I've already been warned that I will not, should not, under ANY circumstances, start the singing and dancing.

I will not embarrass my kids. I will not embarrass my kids. I will not embarrass my kids. . . .

O.K., so spill it. What are YOU doing this weekend?

Book Review - Recipes for a Perfect Marriage

"You have to read this book," Amy said as she set it on my counter. No questions allowed. No protestations. Just, "Read this book."

Don't you just love it when your friends order you to read a book?

So, being the obedient friend that I am, I rose to Amy's challenge and read Recipes for a Perfect Marriage by Morag Prunty.

I'm so glad I did.

The book tells the story of two women--Bernadine, who lives in Ireland, and Tressa, Bernadine's granddaughter, who lives in New York City. Both women share their very different, yet very similar, stories of their marriages in a way that will make you both laugh and cry.

Bernadine is writing to her granddaughter to tell her what she's learned about marriage through the recipes she also shares with her. Hers is not an easy marriage, but what marriage really is? But the lessons she learns as she stays true to her husband, James, are profound and real.

Tressa is newly married and in her first year of marriage fears that she's married the wrong man. She struggles to find those feelings of love and very nearly ruins what she comes to know as the best thing in her life. Her story, just like her grandmother's, is honest and true.

In the end, Bernadine says this (which I think pretty much sums up the book): "They say there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but there is. A perfect marriage is one where two people live together for most of their lives until death separates them. There is no such thing as an easy marriage."

I really enjoyed this realistic peek into two very different, yet not-so-different-at-all, relationships. It's honest, it's raw, it's real. (Oh, and it's definitely a chick book--guys would probably not even get it.)

You have to read this book.

How'd I Let This One Slip By?

Look at that face.



Isn't that just the face any mother would love?



Doesn't she just look so innocent?



She's fun and funny and lets us have our way with her. (Sometimes.)



She even loves to hold our hands . . . or feet . . . or legs. Whatever's close by, she likes to touch us.



But don't let that innocent look fool you. Underneath that sweet veneer lies the heart of an adventurer.

Apparently yesterday her sense of adventure took over, and she thought she'd explore our neighborhood.

Funny thing is, I didn't even know she was missing . . . for THREE HOURS!

. . . until I got a phone call while standing in American Eagle with Maggie.

"Hey, Shelly. It's Amy. Is Thunder at home?"

*gulp*

These are words I never want to hear. Especially when I'm not home.

Thank goodness for Amy. What would I ever do without her? She rounded up my dog from a neighbor's house, got her key to my house, and brought that wayward beast back home.

Where she belongs.



And where she will surely stay for a good, long time.

Intentional Parenting - An Introduction

**Word of warning: this post is long. I hope you'll think it worth your time.**

A few years ago a friend told me, “You are the most intentional parent I know.” At the time it knocked me off me feet. It was a true compliment, and I was honored to receive it, yet it humbled me somehow.

What did she mean by intentional? How did my parenting style differ from hers or that of our friends?

I have spent a lot of time thinking about that comment over the years and thought it might be helpful, both for me and for you, to explore what it means to be an intentional parent. As a result, I am going to do a series of posts called “Intentional Parenting” that I’ll put up here every-other Monday for a few weeks. I think this will help me clarify my thinking about this topic, and maybe you’ll catch a parenting idea or two that will be helpful for you.

Let me say right off the bat that for me to write about parenting is kind of like Sarah Palin calling herself an expert on Russia. Sure, she lives near Russia—rumor has it she can see Russia from her house—and as governor of Alaska she probably had some interaction with the country. But does she have a Ph.D. in Russian history or U.S./Russian relations? I don’t think so.

Same with me. I live with kids. I’ve been a parent for 18 years or so, so I’ve had a little experience. But an expert I am not. My degrees are in English, not Child Psychology. So please don’t think that I have all the answers.

Let me also say that I don’t have perfect kids. I used to think people who wrote about parenting must really have it all together and, more than that, they must especially have kids who never misbehave, who never talk back, and who never harbor bad attitudes. Their families probably have devotions every morning before school and then again every night at dinner.

That is so not us. I’ll just leave it at that.

All I have done is a lot of observing and a lot of thinking about parenting over the years, and I guess I’m just as qualified as anyone to have some opinions on the matter. To me, the issue of parenting is so important that it’s critical to never stop working at it and to never stop striving to get better and better.

So here we go.

What is intentional parenting? That’s the question I’ve asked myself so many times since my friend complimented me. What does that mean? I think I’ve come up with a few ideas.

Have a plan.

Intentional parents think about the results they’d like to see in their kids and then think about how to accomplish those results. Really, the “how” piece will look different for everyone. God has given us all different personalities and children with different personalities, so why would we assume that parenting by a formula would work the same for everyone?

Over the years, B and I have done a lot of thinking about what kind of people we’d like to see our children turn out to be and what we need to do, as parents, to help our kids become those people. For instance, we really thought it was important to develop a global perspective in our kids so that they would understand God’s love for all the people of the world. Along with that, we wanted them to be aware of what missionaries do and how they live. So when our girls were very young, we decided that travel would be an important part of our family life. And we made it a goal to visit missionaries around the world whenever we could.

We started saving Frequent Flier miles when our girls were very young, hoping that some day we would have enough miles to visit our friends who are missionaries in Brazil. Finally, in 2004, we had accumulated enough miles for three tickets and we had saved enough money to purchase the other two. We obtained passports for everyone in the family, and we finally realized our long-held goal to take our kids to visit some missionaries.

That trip changed us all. It gave us a different perspective of the world, and it gave us a much greater understanding of what missionaries do and how they live. It was, simply put, amazing, and we still talk about it today.

Intentional parenting means that we focus on why we do what we do rather than how we do what we do.

Why did B and I think it was important to take our girls to Brazil? It wasn’t just a “let’s see the world” trip for fun. We wanted them to see people who were different from them, people who lived in much different circumstances from us, so that they could see that God loves all of His children and that the people of Brazil need a Savior just as much as the people of Chicago.

We also wanted them to see the greater needs of the world so that they would begin to develop a heart for the poor. In Brazil, our friends took us to visit a family who lived in a favela, which is basically a slum area. The homes are made of cinder block, stacked one on top of another up the side of a mountain. These people have no heat, no running water, no indoor plumbing. The conditions are deplorable, yet the family we met was so happy to welcome us to their home. They smiled broadly as we sat on the sides of their bed (the only place to sit in the home), learning more about them and their culture.

It might be difficult to take your children into such a situation to see people living in such awful conditions unless you first talked about why you were doing this. How you get there is easy—it’s the “why” piece that is important.

Intentional parents are proactive, not reactive.

By this, I mean that intentional parents look ahead at what’s coming. They think about how a situation might affect their child and develop a response before it comes up.

Not that I’d know anything about this, but curfew might be a problem in some families with teenagers. Once a kid gets her driver’s license she might want to stay out later with her friends, pushing her parents’ resolve to get their daughter home safely at a decent hour.

Intentional parents decide long before the “curfew talk” comes up what time they want their child home and . . . here’s the important part . . . why. In our house, our daughter’s curfew is a little earlier than her friends’ curfew. We simply shrug our shoulders and tell her that nothing good happens after midnight and because we want her home safely she needs to be home when we tell her. It’s for her safety.

Could things escalate into a huge argument? Sure. But the chances of that happening are much greater if a kid senses his parent waffling, unsure of what they should do. Intentional parents have thought through the issue and are proactive, not reactive when stuff like this comes up.

Over the next several weeks I’m going to share some of the areas that B and I have thought it important to be intentional about. Some of these might really resonate with you; others might not. As parents, you have to decide for your family and for your children what you deem important enough to be intentional about. Just as personalities are different, families are too, so what might be important to my family might be entirely different to yours.

Whatever the case, I’d encourage you to start thinking through some of the areas you think are important enough for you to be intentional about as a parent. And if you’d share these in the comments I’d be especially grateful. I’d love to know what you’re thinking!

Costa Rican Update

I haven't updated you on our Costa Rican visitors for a few days, so just in case you're interested (and even if you're not) here are a few more things I've learned.



1. Costa Ricans don't use brown paper bags for lunches. In fact, when I suggested that they take a piece of fruit and a yogurt to supplement their lunch (which apparently is gross--what school lunch isn't?), they just looked confused. Finally, one of my girls went to the pantry and got out a simple brown lunch bag to show them what we were talking about. The Costa Rican girls started laughing hysterically, telling us that they thought brown bags were only used on television but that nobody used them in real life.

We're finding even the small differences hilarious around here.

2. Apparently American teenage boys are kinda cute. And that's all I have to say about that.

3. I overheard one of the CR girls telling one of my girls the other night, "You guys don't yell at each other like we do. We're like Italians, always yelling at each other, but you guys don't do that." I really would have liked to see the look on my daughter's face when she heard that one.




4. Yesterday they were treated to the treasure-trove that is Target. (Alliteration much?) We tried to explain what was in store for them: "They have everything." "Yes, really, pretty much anything you want to buy, you can find it there." "We get everything from electronics to soap to underwear at Target."

By the time they left the house, I think they were scared to death.

5. They like the early "American Idol" shows as much as we do. We had a great time together the other night, watching the premiere of "AI." I don't think I'll soon forget the CR girls trying to imitate Victoria Beckham. Hilarious.

6. I'm learning that I'm going to miss those girls when it's finally time for them to head back to Costa Rica. I feel like I've gained two more daughters, and I kind of like it. Sure, the house is much busier than usual, the noise level has been increased substantially, and I have to cook a lot more than I usually do, but it's all been so good. For everyone.

So that's the Costa Rican update. All four teenagers are going on a retreat with our church this weekend. I'm sure they'll have lots of stories to tell when they get home.

Me? I'm going to spend the weekend on the couch, NOT cooking.

So now I'd really like to know, what are your weekend plans?