One Word :: Love – What I’m learning

Happy Valentines Day, friends! 

It seems fitting, on this day of love, that I should follow up with a little bit of what I'm learning from my One Word, don't you think?

First, an observation. You know what? Once you pick a word, it pops up everywhere.

Seriously, everywhere!

(I dare you to try it.)

For instance, the women’s Bible study at our church is studying I John, and although it’s hard for me to get there because of my teaching schedule, I’m trying to at least read along with them. That book has love written all the way through it!

I hear the word “Love” more these days than I have ever heard it before—on the radio, in conversations, in sermons. And every time I hear it, I think about how the person is using it, what the context is, and what I can learn about love.

So this month, through listening to others and through reading God’s word, I’ve learned this: Love is action.

I’m noticing that love kind of works this way: we perform an action; it becomes love. Either the other person knows that you love them or you begin to feel more love for the person you’ve acted in love towards. But there is always an action involved.

Every morning my husband leaves the house while I’m still sleeping. And every morning, when he’s all ready to go, gym bag in hand, he stops by my side of the bed, leans over and kisses me. Sometimes I’m more coherent than other times, but I always know that he has kissed me.

Does he always feel like kissing me? No. I’m sure he doesn’t. But he does it because it is one small way that he can show me—and remind himself—that I am his wife whom he loves.

Some verses from I John:

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”

“This is love: Not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent His son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

Did you catch the verbs there? The actions? Jesus laid down his life. God sent His son. He didn’t just stop with the love—He did something about it.

I’ve heard the phrase “love in action,” but I would suggest that the phrase should be “love IS action.” Because when you love, you do.

You listen.

You see.

You spend time.

You sacrifice.

You give.

You stay.

Sometimes love is really, really hard, and on those days just doing something might be enough. You might not feel love, but you can do love.

This weekend God is calling me out of my comfort zone to love someone. I told you it would happen! I’m a little nervous about it, but because I want to learn to love well, I will go and I will do and I will listen.

I will love.

So lesson #1 about love? Love is action.

Since it's Valentines Day and all, why not show someone you love them today?

One Word 2013 :: Love

I smelled him before I saw him.

That sounds terrible, I know, but the smoke and body odor was so strong that it made me look up from my basket of groceries.

I saw the culprit, two people in front of me in the checkout line, as he struggled with shaking hands to stuff change and chocolate bars into the pocket of his red hooded sweatshirt. His hair was disheveled. His beard bore the signs of several days growth. His brown pants, tattered and too big. And on his feet he wore not shoes, but blue corduroy slippers.

Not your typical Trader Joes shopper.

At the end of the counter stood another man, neatly dressed, a kind smile on his face. A friend? He watched, patiently, as the bedraggled man struggled to zip the pocket holding the cherished chocolate bars.

“He just got out of the hospital,” the man at the end of the counter said to the cashier.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” said the guy at checkout.

“But you’re going to be O.K., Jim, right?” said his patient friend.

Nothing.

Shuffle, shuffle. The pocket just wouldn’t accept the change. Not quickly, anyway.

They finally finished their transaction and the friend said goodbye to the cashier, not a trace of impatience or embarrassment on his face. “Come on, Jim. Let’s get going,” his friend said in no particular hurry at all, despite the growing line in the Express Lane.

Jim shuffled behind his friend, head bent, barely taking in the busy scene of the grocery store, while his friend gently took his elbow and guided him out of the store.

In that moment, it wasn’t Jim who had caught my attention, it was his friend. A friend who had obviously seen a need—a need for chocolate, a need for a ride to the store, a need for attention—and had responded in love. It showed on his face, in his demeanor, in his actions.

This man, who looked nothing like Jim, who looked more like the “rest of us,” was not concerned about appearance. He was concerned about Jim.

He loved.

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Two years ago I gave in to the “One Word” craze and chose “Grace” as my word for 2011. Even though my skeptical heart was quite cynical about the whole thing, I have to say, it worked.

Grace stayed on my mind. It permeated my thoughts. I began to see it everywhere, and pretty soon I started to show it a little more. I hope.

Last year I had a word in my mind, but I never wrote about it. I never even talked about it. With anyone. I kept it tucked away, probably because it seemed like too much, too hard.

But this year, I think it’s time to come clean and expose the word I’ve been rolling around in my head for the past year. In fact, I’m just going to claim it for this year and see what happens, because two years ago Grace walked in, sat down, and became a better part of my life. I hope this word will do the same.

You’re probably scratching your head, wondering why I’m choosing Love as my word for the year. If you know me at all, you probably think I love enough already. I have a wonderful family to love. I have great friends to love. I even have a room full of students to love.

And I do. I love each one.

But you know what? I don’t think I love any of them well.

As I thought about love, unspoken, throughout the year last year, I realized that my love is often so conditional. You love me; I’ll love you back. I know that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I’m not even sure I know fully what love means.

For so long I have thought that love means commitment, and it does, but it’s more than that. You see, Jesus tells us to love our neighbor who could very possibly be someone we don’t know well at all, someone to whom we may not be committed. So what kind of love is that?

God is teaching me that love has so little to do with me and so very much to do with those around me. He’s showing me that love has everything to do with putting myself in the shoes of another, walking through their day, seeing life through their eyes. He’s teaching me that love cannot be on my terms—that it needs to be freely given with no strings attached. Love is letting myself go and putting others first.

I wonder, how many times have I just assumed something about someone without really stepping into their world, seeing things through their eyes? How many times have I made snap judgments based on what my experience tells me rather than learning what their experience has really been?

Love takes time. Love listens. Love observes. Sometimes, Love shuts her mouth.

And this is just the beginning. I know I have so much to learn about how to love well.

Trust me, this is scary. I don’t know what God might call me to do in the process of really learning how to love. I mean, might He call me to love the homeless man in the Express Lane at Trader Joes?

Funny thing is, He already has.

I just want to learn more about how that should look.

I want to love well.

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How about you?  Have you chosen a word for this year? I'd love it if you'd share it in the comments.

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 A huge thank you to Melanie at Only a Breath who chose "give" for her word and is GIVING these beautiful "One Word" buttons to anyone who requests one. Visit her. Follow her. I know she'd love to hear from you.

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Linking this post to Melanie's One Word blog party at Only a Breath and to Word of the Year link party at The Lettered Cottage.